i saw you tonight
your eyes
your hair
your cockeyed grin
and your swagger.
your brother became you for one second in time
and i held my breath and watched,
waiting for the exilaration of
seeing you again
but instead
i felt his warmth
his joy
his essence
and i knew without a doubt
that you will never be what i am waiting to see
i must instead start looking for . . .
what you already are . . .